Affirmation: taking up space

Coming of age

Gathering over time (digital collage) © Rochelle Del Borrello 2022

Gathering the years over time

redressing the innocence

becoming less like a child and more like death

inevitable meanderings trap and pull

into well-worn tracks

we become like everyone else

and less like ourselves

Wise beyond our years

improvisation is a circulated falsehood

a mythological ideology created from nothing

a belief I nothing creates an emptiness

this illness of life kills the presence of the soul

disjointed thoughts make you forget

remember to forget yourself

The coming of age

brings so much and very little

the laughter mocks the tears of frustration

the sobs ridicule the waves of happiness

tender is the touch which pounds the flesh

the physical slap makes things real

remember to make life real.

An exceptional procrastination

My zine, The extraordinary life of Michael Lee Aday, came about through procrastination.

In January (2022) I had unwillingly taken on a travel writing project, even though I had promised I would never accept anything as tedious as updating a travel guide. But I accepted it because it was a good project to keep me active after a couple of years of not doing much writing-wise. I didn't mind visiting the locations, but once that part of the job was finished, I had to enter all of the data onto my employer's database, which was mind-numbingly tedious.

So after doing some intense work every day, my reward was listening to music. Every hour I gave myself a break of five to ten minutes of music to get away from the computer screen.

After hearing of Meat Loaf's death (20th January 2022) I decided to go back and listen to his first album, Bat Out of Hell, which I'm ashamed to admit I never had heard. Soon it became an obsession. Meat Loaf fans posted old interviews, videos and documentaries about his career, so I began watching and listening to everything possible. And so I disappeared into a rabbit hole which helped me to discover his impressive lifetimes work.

So as I was working on my day job, I had work breaks and weekends listening, understanding and reading everything I could about this fascinating artist. I took copious notes and compiled the ultimate Meat Loaf listening list, which I played as I typed in my data.

I discovered elements of Meat Loaf's difficult childhood, how he lost his mother when he was 19, and a violent and alcoholic father who tried to kill him. His remarkable talents as an actor and singer. His incredible force of will to follow his creative skills.

Meat Loaf said yes to everything from singing in rock bands in the early 70s to singing musicals and roles in movies and on the stage. He did everything from Shakespeare to the Rocky Horror Show. How he randomly met and befriended talented musician and songwriter Jim Steinman. And how the two went on to write one of the most popular and highest-selling albums of all time.

Then came the stream of endless rejection to get the album recorded, how nobody believed in Jim Steinman or Meat Loaf's music, which was completely different from any music of the time. It took Steinman and ML two years to write the album and another two to find a record company that was able to sign them. Then it took them months of performing to build their audience after their record company refused to publicise the album.

My Meat Loaf procrastination became a welcomed distraction and obsession. Before I knew it, I had written pages of notes, and all of the fans' old photos became the inspiration for some sketches. Then I began thinking, " Hey, maybe I can make a little zine with all this research. So I started writing a tribute to ML's extraordinary life and my reflections as a new fan.

Before I realised it, I had written 10,000 words and had made dozens of sketches inspired by Meat Loaf.

After sending in my travel guide, I began editing and compiling my tribute to Meat Loaf.

The result is this little book about this enigmatic performer, his unlikely career path and possibly the most epic journey any album has had to take to be recorded and published.

If you want to read my little zine its available on Amazon.

Keep an eye out for a give away in a few weeks time and more zines further down the track.

After discovering Meat Loaf I have been well and truly immersed in 1970s music, I don’t think I’ll get back to listening to contemporary music, even though I am impressed to hear the current generation of artists being heavily influenced by the sounds of the 70s, which makes me very happy indeed.

Wishbone

There is a wishbone stuck in your throat

it sits lodged between your vocal cords

amazingly it does not hamper your voice

in fact, it creates your voice

With every breath, you inhale desirously

ambition to replenish your want for success

The Wishbone absorbs your breath the split bones

two halves pluck you chords

not choking just your voice singing

with the expectation of ongoing expression

Such is the mysterious awe of the performance

the wish expressed through your voice.

5-second book review: Italian Life Tim Parks

Italian Life: a modern fable of loyalty and betrayal by Tim Parks

Italian Life is a brilliant book about University life in Italy. Honest and insightful about the way higher education works on the peninsula. Tim Parks is an expert in Italian literature and culture. With Italian Life, he has created an intriguing tale filled with accurate, infuriating and on-point observations.

As an ex-pat living in Italy, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at some situations this novel recounts. All I can say is it is honest without being cynical, hopeful, or naive.

A beautiful book about a convoluted, corrupt and sometimes ugly part of Italy.--

Tim Parks Italian Life: a modern fable of loyalty and betrayal is a must-read if you want to understand how the Italian education system works. Be warned; it is filled with convoluted bureaucracy, cronyism and endless political wrangling. All as flamboyant and unexpected as the Italian peninsula itself.

More books by Tim Parks also well worth a read: Italian Neighbours, An Italian Education, A season with Verona, The Hero’s Way: walking with Garibaldi from Rome to Ravenna, Italian Ways: on and off the rails from Milan to Palermo, A literary tour of Italy.

A season of light

Do you remember the night of summer lightning?

when the seasons changed

thundering humidity clashing upon itself

to create thick droplets of rain

we sat under the umbrella stars

under the talking sky

we spoke of faith and faithlessness

as the world shifted around us

we dreamed of what could be

and took a moment with us

the restless nature of the storm

we did not worry about the future

we were happy to have our passion

the rain is cleansing the moment before winter.

The same blood

The same blood (digital collage) © Rochelle Del Borrello 2022

You can be red raw and still sing your song

You can have tears in your eyes and still tell your story.

The truth is where the tale lies

You cannot or should not wait to share it.

The emotion will help you to connect with others

Because everyone can see, 

understand and communicate

with feelings

So don’t be afraid to bleed onto the page.

We all have the same blood in our veins.

Be careful what you wish for: a reflection on fame and wealth

People say you should meet your heroes, but sometimes you could regret what you wish for.

There are many stories of people who meet their idols and turn out to be genuinely horrible.

You might want to meet them, but they won't necessarily be willing to meet you. 

The entertainment industry is filled with superficial narcissists with huge egos.

Other famous people have done terrible things to attain and keep their success. 

It always saddens me when I hear of children being neglected, abandoned or forgotten by a famous father or mother. Or even children in mitigation for years after a famous parent has passed away, over a slice of the big pie of earnings amassed during a lifetime of touring or working.

I'm sure it's rare to see successful artists without ego who take the time to connect with their fans, actively thanking them and being constantly humble about their work.

There are dozens of examples of famous people having difficulties with their families and those arguing over money and inheritance.

Legendary 1950's comedic actor and director Jerry Lewis was an egomaniac who left behind a stream of endless horribleness. Despite giving money to charities and developing the modern concept of the Telethon to raise funds for worthy causes, he was generally a terrible man to work and live with. He basically disowned his six adult children and first wife, leaving everything to his second wife and adopted daughter. He also had an illegitimate daughter whom he never really acknowledged and who died elderly and homeless for most of her life.

Back in my student journalist days, I was able to get a chance to meet Sir Peter Ustinov, who was one of my favourite old-school classic Hollywood character actors from the golden age of cinema. He turned out to be rather charming and open to meeting a couple of clueless and surprised students. We ended up having a lovely conversation with the elderly performer, who was filled with advice and time for the younger generation.

Years after his death in 2004, I was saddened to hear how Sir Peter's six surviving children were in mitigation for years over the estate of the late actor and writer. Sadly most of Sir Peter's trusts which also contained the rights and royalties to everything he wrote and filmed, are not available to the family. Legal fees are eating away at his fortune, and stringent rules regulating the trusts established in Liechtenstein and Switzerland keep everything away from his surviving family.

More recently, in 2017, when one of my favourite American singer-songwriters, Tom Petty passed away suddenly, I was shocked to hear that his daughters from his first wife and current wife immediately plunged into mitigation over his estate. Thank goodness, after several months in court, they were able to reach an agreement.

Being famous doesn't make you immune to human problems like greed, misunderstandings and poor family relations.

Another famous example that comes to mind was from Roy Orbison's life; he had to endure terrible tragedies like the death of his first wife in a motorcycle accident and the death of his two eldest sons in a house fire when he was away on tour. Orbison was a workaholic and focused his energy on performing, writing and recording songs which led him to neglect his surviving son, whom he left to be raised by his grandparents.

Even when Orbison later remarried and had another two sons, he practically forgot his first surviving son. While focusing on his big career comeback in the early 90-s, he abandoned his teenage sons, travelling with his wife to LA to work on new projects and collaborations. Later he reconciled with his oldest son before his sudden fatal heart attack, but he never really repaired or addressed the emotional damage caused by the separation. Today, Roy Orbison's sons proudly keep their father's legacy alive and collaborate to promote the Orbison name.

There are so many tales of estranged and abandoned children or the rich and famous, which begs the question, is it all worth it?

It's interesting to reflect on the nature of fame and fortune, whether you need to be pigheaded, arrogant and generally a lousy individual to attain success. Or is it better to be less rich and famous and focus on being a good person while nurturing your family.

What would you choose to do?

Nothing goes to waste

Everything serves a purpose

ain’t anything going to waste.

A tear is love which doesn’t know

where to go, it had to come out

or else you would drown.

A beating heart, filled with unrequited regret

is your big soul expressing itself

remember we are made of light

and its got to shine

whether you want it or not

we can’t resist all of this love

sometimes it hurts, we ache for it

we cry for it, it won’t be denied.

None of it is wasted because it is

where we come from

and from whence

we return.

Why I Friggin love Jack White

Digital line drawing © Rochelle Del Borrello 2023

Jack White: Love Interruption from Blunderbuss (2012)

I've been a fan of Jack White ever since he formed the White Stripes with his former wife Meg White in the legendary early 200s alternative garage band duo.

Jack White is one of the most talented songwriters, guitarists, and multi-instrumentalists. His career has been about tireless creativity, innovation and collaboration. Apart from his success with the White Stripes, he founded the Raconteurs and the Dead Weather, who were equally fantastic rock bands. 

Like most excellent musicians, White is also a great collaborator; he has worked with many other artists, including Loretta Lynn, Bob Dylan, and Alicia Keys.

White's love of music, particularly vinyl records, led him to establish his own record company. Third Man Records releases White's music and new artists and re-releases classic artists on vinyl.

Apart from being one of the most incredible people on the planet, his live performances are phenomenal. White has an extensive collection of guitars and other instruments and loves collecting vintage items that usually connect to famous early blues artists. He is an advocate for analogue technology and recording techniques.

Jack White has an encyclopedic knowledge of blues music and the American songbook; he also can identify any Beatles song within the first few seconds of listening.

He's one of my all-time favourite artists and one of the people I most wish to see live in concert as he's such an excellent guitar player and performer who is constantly innovating.

While I always enjoy Jack White's music, the album that made me fall hopelessly in love with him as a solo artist was his first solo effort, Blunderbuss (2012).

For me, the song Love Interruption is the perfect blues love song. It shows off Jack White's old blues-soaked soul, his clever and witty lyrical talents, and showcases the best of his abilities.

Love Interruption has been a solid part of my playlist for the last decade, and it never gets old. The concept that love is about a deep pseudo masochistic painful addiction and suffering is a concept expressed by many great poets over the centuries.

To hear Jack White exorcize, even relishing his heartbreak and suffering through song, is nothing but pure blues. It's good for the soul.

Here's a poem inspired by Jack White's song Three Women from his 2014 album Lazaretto.

I took the concept of White's song talking about women and turned it upside down to write about three men.

Three Men

(inspired by Jack White)

I have three men tall, dark and handsome

they come to me when I please and always come back for more

I'm the kind of gal who has an appetite

It's not satisfying, so it's either three of the whorehouse for me.

I've got to have a man blow away these blues and quench this dry throat.

My tall man's flexible and lean

he bends himself to please me

he knows how to pluck and play and lick

and well, there's no need to mention

about the length of his prick

My dark Italian stallion

well, he's all poetry and passion

he knows when to talk and when to howl

speaks many tongues, knows endless tricks

my playboy is a ball

and cunnilinguses with the best

My handsome one's got ripping muscles

he blushes when he's at his best

a little shyer than the rest

he keeps his clothes on until I'm ready

I rip them off

but he always leaves his socks

You might say, what right do I have?

No reason to have three lovers

but whatever I do is doing no harm

must be doing something right cos

they come to visit every night.

My three men are keeping me satisfied

more satisfied than my tiny, pale, lard arse

ex-husband ever did.

So excuse me if I offend

I'll be over here making up for the lost time

I got an itch to scratch

When I call on my dream men to

Get me over this hump

I got my mojo back after a slump

Girl power and all that

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy lord ah yeah.

I’ve put together a playlist over on Spotify of some of my favourite Jack White songs, together with some of those mentioned in this post. Click on it to have a little listen.