Dedicated to the discarded

Untitled (digital collage) © Rochelle Del Borrello 2022

I apologise to those discarded phrases

who in invoking themselves in a furious moment

were only to be crossed out, barred and abandoned

each letter was so important

yet in questioning each word

criticising each thought, I saw too

many imperfections to be fixed

like a boat with too many holes

there were simply too many plugs

and so I had to let it sink

I’m sorry for my harshness and laziness

I couldn’t save you from your creator

who couldn’t live with her imperfections.

Affirmation: kindness

The man eater

Ancient Melancholy (digital collage) © Rochelle Del Borrello 2022

The man-eater

sucks upon the juices

savours the aroma

of bewilderment

by beauty

The game is played

to her advantage

the pressed flesh eroticism

stench evident upon

the mind of the toy

She devours

peeling away

the flesh exposing

layer upon layer

bones, organs

and finally

the heart

which she places still beating

upon the trinket-laden

charm bracelet

crowded by scattered hearts

of willing victims

she smiles.

Affirmation: knowledge and understanding

A fallen angel

The joyful angels

clearly and precisely

proclaim their destiny

a distinct path lit before them

each step enlightening the heart

my joyful angels how you make me laugh

I wish to fly in your eternal happiness

I cannot feel your love

nor share in your joyful abandon

for my joyful angels, I fear I have fallen.

Affirmation: taking up space

Coming of age

Gathering over time (digital collage) © Rochelle Del Borrello 2022

Gathering the years over time

redressing the innocence

becoming less like a child and more like death

inevitable meanderings trap and pull

into well-worn tracks

we become like everyone else

and less like ourselves

Wise beyond our years

improvisation is a circulated falsehood

a mythological ideology created from nothing

a belief I nothing creates an emptiness

this illness of life kills the presence of the soul

disjointed thoughts make you forget

remember to forget yourself

The coming of age

brings so much and very little

the laughter mocks the tears of frustration

the sobs ridicule the waves of happiness

tender is the touch which pounds the flesh

the physical slap makes things real

remember to make life real.

Wishbone

There is a wishbone stuck in your throat

it sits lodged between your vocal cords

amazingly it does not hamper your voice

in fact, it creates your voice

With every breath, you inhale desirously

ambition to replenish your want for success

The Wishbone absorbs your breath the split bones

two halves pluck you chords

not choking just your voice singing

with the expectation of ongoing expression

Such is the mysterious awe of the performance

the wish expressed through your voice.

A season of light

Do you remember the night of summer lightning?

when the seasons changed

thundering humidity clashing upon itself

to create thick droplets of rain

we sat under the umbrella stars

under the talking sky

we spoke of faith and faithlessness

as the world shifted around us

we dreamed of what could be

and took a moment with us

the restless nature of the storm

we did not worry about the future

we were happy to have our passion

the rain is cleansing the moment before winter.

Nothing goes to waste

Everything serves a purpose

ain’t anything going to waste.

A tear is love which doesn’t know

where to go, it had to come out

or else you would drown.

A beating heart, filled with unrequited regret

is your big soul expressing itself

remember we are made of light

and its got to shine

whether you want it or not

we can’t resist all of this love

sometimes it hurts, we ache for it

we cry for it, it won’t be denied.

None of it is wasted because it is

where we come from

and from whence

we return.

Friendzone

Beyond my reach (digital collage) © Rochelle Del Borrello 2022

I don't need anyone,

I have myself,

the love I have in my heart is enough,

strength comes as it is required.

I can't stop thinking of you.

I want more of you in my life.

I miss your energy,

I don't need you but

I love you.

Our connection is so special

you hold a mirror up to me

we are two parts of the same whole.

You have always seemed beyond my reach,

too many people love you already.

You've had too many sexy girlfriends

to ever want me.

I don't think you have ever seen me in

any other way than as a friend.

So before I make a fool of myself

I'm going to stop fantasising about you.

I'm simply going to be overly excited

to see you when we reunite,

give you an extra long hug

and tell you how much I love you

and miss you

because that's the truth.

A bit of grief

I know a bit of grief.

 It's the moment you realise

you cannot go back on your steps

to make it better

or say I love you again

 see someone's face every day,

hear their laugh, trace the outline of their smile,

hold their hand or hug them.

When you learn what it feels like to run out of time.

No more silent pauses in conversations

seeing them across the table,

passing the salad bowl at dinner.

All of those moments you take for granted

stop in your mind,

they are gathered up in memories

and the grieving begins.

I've learnt grief isn't bad,

it's all we have, really,

for our tears are our love

which used to go out

towards those we love.

After they are gone, it has nowhere to go,

so our unexpressed love

becomes our grief.

And as our passion is as undying,

as our mourning.

This strange sadness will never leave

not until our dying days.

It comes over us in the most unlikely moments

in the tiny flickers of memories

the flutter of butterflies

a microscopic movement is enough the overcome us.

Sometimes it's like a tap that

we need to open to let the pressure out.

But mostly, grief is a dark veil that wraps around

our hope, our happiness and faith

and covers our organs which 

find they have an extra weight to carry

the resistance makes it harder to breathe

love and move forward when we don't

want to.

It may seem ironic

but I hope we never

stop grieving

because it keeps our

dearly departed near us.

Life doesn't stop

when someone dies,

it merely shifts

and changes into another

gear and somehow

we live with it.

Nothing to know about grief

The thing about losing something

is that there is nothing to know.

It's an emotion that takes hold of you

pushes you around like a bully that doesn't let up.

You put up with it, let it bleed you dry,

cry yourself to sleep until it loses its strength.

And then you can push it under you, into your heart

Occasionally it will bubble up, making you vomit emotions.

Eventually, it will become a part of you

reminding you how capable you are of love

and how love never really leaves you.

Beyond Myself

Oh artist, please paint me

I'm desperate to be immortalised

not because I want to be remembered

I'm happy to be forgotten

but because I want to leap out of the page

through my own words

into another's heart

to connect.

To gaze into another's soul.

Through a time beyond myself.