Nothing goes to waste
Everything serves a purpose
ain’t anything going to waste.
A tear is love which doesn’t know
where to go, it had to come out
or else you would drown.
A beating heart, filled with unrequited regret
is your big soul expressing itself
remember we are made of light
and its got to shine
whether you want it or not
we can’t resist all of this love
sometimes it hurts, we ache for it
we cry for it, it won’t be denied.
None of it is wasted because it is
where we come from
and from whence
we return.
Don’t box me in
Except the unexpected
because I'm bursting with ideas
and I'm going to do it all.
So insanely talented,
yet terrified to do anything,
destined to be nothing
but a frustrated artist
too busy watching Youtube
scrolling Instagram and playing
Candy Crush,
brainwashed into wasting time.
Soul crushed by comparison.
Why bother trying when
is it all taken away from you in the end?
I’ve had better days
There have been better days than now,
felt less lost and confused
not so sad or deflated
I wish for one of those
better days instead of smack
bang in one of the worst ones.
Nothing going right
love went to waste
efforts all worthless
and so, so far away
from everyone I love.
The hurt comes in tears
that bastard blows up in
your face,
whether you like it or not
that emotion's going to come
knock you over and make you
I wish for better days.
They will come; be patient.
The same blood
You can be red raw and still sing your song.
You can have tears in your eyes and still tell your story.
The truth is where the tale lies.
You cannot or should not wait to share it.
The emotion will help you to connect to others.
Because everyone can see you
understand and communicate
with feelings.
So don’t be afraid to bleed onto the page
we all have the same blood in our veins.
Self-inflicted
Everything creative is filled with self-inflicted torture and doubt.
We do it because once it's done there is something which exists beyond ourselves.
Creativity speaks to everyone at the same time.
A universal language connecting everyone to one another.
To remind us we all essentially go through the same struggles.
Soul mate
The truth is I am very lonely,
lost and confused.
Like most people are.
When we sat and talked
with openness and honesty
I felt lifted up by you
and so unbelievably attracted.
It wasn’t a simple physical attraction
I’ve felt that before, that little flash
of fantasy that flickers momentarily on the mind.
Or could it be just that?
You are so handsome and charming.
I have never felt so comfortable
with anyone else in my life.
Was it just me or where we
totally in sync?
Practically finishing off
each other’s sentences.
When I’m in your company
I want to tell you everything
and I want to hear everything from you.
I care so deeply, it hurts.
I don’t need you,
but I want to be always in your company.
It is never enough.
I think you are my best friend, confidant
and dare I say it …
soul mate.
A mirror to show me everything,
awaken me from my sleep,
reveal a layer of myself back to me
and then slip away.
I see
I see right through you
and into your wild madness
like a transparent teardrop
a bubble that bursts and dissipates
trickling down my leg
and into the ground
drying up in the sun
an anticlimax, all but forgotten.
Only one resolution
I'm not big on New Year's resolutions but this year I've decided simply to do a little more of what I've been doing so far.
I don't like resolutions, I prefer goals. I can get many little goals done during the year rather than a big, scary and impossible life-changing idea. Breaking things down into healthy daily, weekly and monthly routines is the best way to go. Keep working and making things everyday and you will see the results.
I've promised myself to do more writing, more creativity, more self care, to be more present for my family and friends.
We've just got to keep on keeping on through all the tribulations and challenges of life.
The only real resolution we all have to keep in mind is the one of simply being. All we can really do is be ourselves, be whatever we need to keep going, be the things we need for ourselves, our friends, family and the world.
So on this first month of the year, I wish for you to simply be whatever you need right now.
Love and light
Confession
I confess I am lost
without hope
free falling through life
doing enough to barely
keep breathing
is that enough?
To live with each breathe
holding onto this existence
through inhaling and exhaling
in the most basic of actions,
hoping death doesn’t come
filling the lungs with air and
expelling carbon dioxide.
It seems so little a thing to do
when a new plague
robs people of this
simple action
taking their lives
by taking away
the abililty to breathe.
Be as a child
I want to be like a child
in awe of the world around me
generous with love and affection
accepting of change, always
growing and learning.
I want to always expect the best
and even if it doesn't happen
simply continue to hope
get back up and move through
life with a naive energy
which keeps you moving
in a mixture of creativity,
curiosity and determination.
Children are so flexible
they are like a cup filling
and overflowing with water
A piece of magic
when the world seems dark
be like a child
live with hope
and endless faith.
I've had better days
There have been better days than now,
felt less lost and confused
not so sad or deflated
I wish for one of those
better days
instead of smack
bang in one of the worst ones.
Nothing going right
love went to waste
efforts all worthless
and so, so far away
from everyone I love.
The hurt comes in tears
that bastard blows up in
your face,
whether you like it or not
that emotion's going to come
knock you over and make you
wish for better days
they will come, just be patient.
Affirmations
I don’t care what other people think of me because I’m intelligent, empathetic, sensitive, creative, reflective, and worthy.
I’m willing to take up space, contribute, make something new and create worthy connections in the world.
I’m here to seek knowledge and understanding, listen and see different points of view.
I want to be a kind ear, an encouraging and reassuring voice for others.
I’m growing every day, making mistakes and stumbling along, always moving forward and looking to become a better person.
I can change my mind and opinions because life is about evolving and living this moment at its greatest potential.
Connection
We only have these moments
tiny connections
to hold onto
as life slips through our fingers.
My poetry
My poetry is a constant whisper in my ear
a dark, haunting and persistent dream
my inner voice leaking out of my head
a constant weeping emotion
which is eerie, untamed and real
it is always uncomfortable
to share as the words come from an awkward place
yet they feel beautiful just the same
They are like little deformities
which express a deep insecurity
unpleasing to the eye
yet satisfying for the soul.
I coax them out of me like untamed wild animals
I watch as they slowly show me their savage power
I am always in awe of the epicness of human emotion
And how it can consume itself.
Death's garden
The idea came to commemorate my dearest ancestors
by planting them a garden.
Lavander sprigs for stillborn Estella.
Delicate violets from Nonna’s garden.
An all-enveloping ivy that covers and embraces
everything for Nonno.
Daddy would be an aubergine flower as that's
what he left for us in his garden.
Mum will be an exotic caper flower after she is gone.
I will plant them on my skin,
they will slowly grow up my arm
and cover my body in death's garden.
Added to with every loss
I choose a new plant to sow
for my family and friends
and add to the artwork
with each ghost.
