Delicate Impossibilities

I've never been able to let go of my delicate impossibilities

the airheaded dreamer holds onto what if  moments

what would have happened along another path

with different people by my side

or even by myself.

I delight myself in remembering the gentle caresses

standing too close or too long with someone

regretting not leaning over and kissing

or not following someone to the train station

losing touch, moving on while holding on to a first love

never forgetting shared intimacies and always desiring more.

There is one fleeting moment which constantly

haunts me, a man I loved when he was but a boy

I worry perhaps he was my soul mate

he was a reflection of myself, and I have always loved him

I still have his perfume, I smell the odour of our youth

my innocence.

I wish him all my love

and still, I dream of him.

Did he see himself in me and flee

Perhaps he believed I forgot him

I'm a good actress

I can never forget that piece of me

I found myself with him

and I want to let him know

I will always remember you,

soul mate and love

even if you make yourself invisible

the delicate impossibilities will remain.