Dream of a bear

I dreamt I was trampled by a bear.

A giant golden coloured female grizzly.

I got too close to her cubs and she charged me.

The sound was epic like the reverberation of an earthquake.

She threw down the walls of the cabin and made the earth shake.

I was in awe of her power.

I felt no pain as I pretended to be dead,

holding my breath as long as I could in the dream.

I woke up so I could breathe.

I’m sure I survived. 

She was only roaring out her anger over me

in this outer body experience.

This dream makes me wonder if I am being crushed by my own

expectations and inner frustrations.

Or if I need to roar out my anger too.


Choosing to honour

Don't honour the famous and wealthy grey-haired film stars and businessmen

they are too comfortable and aren't struggling

they don't need honouring, they have found success and comfort.

 

We need to honour those who are living with struggles greater than themselves

and who do so without complaint.

 

I honour the single mother trying to make it to the end of the month

with five dollars in her pocket, working double shifts,

trying to feed her babies.

 

I honour the refugees whose homeland has been blown to pieces

Who have no choice but to leave behind their whole world and have to start their lives over.

 

I honour the army veterans who returned home broken people, used up by the army

unable to readjust, with trauma

limping through their lives, marching onto

oblivion without thanks or acknowledgement of their sacrifices.

 



I honour the bereaved parent who has suffered through the unnatural act of burying their child

or children.

The mother's and father's of adult children torn away at their prime, adolescents who show so much promise, children, newborns or those who never knew anything but the womb.

God only knows how they continue to breathe even though they have lost their best parts.

 

I honour the creative who keeps creating for the love of it.

For every artist who succeeds, hundreds will never be appreciated, published, seen or listened to.

For every criticism, self-sabotage may there be many who breakthrough

and lift every other artist.

 

I honour the sons and daughters who care for infirm parents.

Just as they were cared for, now the old become children again.

That they may have the same patience and love that every good mother is blessed with.

 

For every survivor, whose broken heart keeps beating.

Anyone who has a soul weighed down with trauma.

I honour their strength and pray for forgiveness while shifting the burden of their memories.

 

I honour abandoned children and those who help them to learn to trust again.

 

I honour the queer and gender-fluid, whoever have suffered through hate, self-loathing and toxic relationships

 

All lost souls who have been treated without dignity or as outcasts.

To all who have found love and acceptance despite everything, they have been through.

Those who have survived violence, illness and alienation.

Above all, I honour those who have not survived.

I remember you, I see you, I feel you in my heart.

 

Love overcomes adversity because love is love is love.

 

Who do you honour?


Self-inflicted

Everything creative is filled with self-inflicted torture and doubt.

 

We do it because once it's done there is something which exists beyond ourselves.

 

Creativity speaks to everyone at the same time.

 

A universal language connecting everyone to one another.

 

To remind us we all essentially go through the same struggles.


Blew you a kiss

I blew you a kiss even though I wanted to give you a real one.

I turned around and walked away.

Heartbroken.

I wish you’d followed me.

 

I never wanted to hurt you, but I think I did.

I was so stupid and naive, I never saw you.

Actually I thought you didn’t like me.

It is frightening to bare your heart,

declare your feelings.

 Most people are afraid

when it comes to big feelings.

Was I really that intimidating?

Couldn’t you have said something.

Why was I so blind?

Why did I have to fuck up my life so much? 

Now we are so far from one another.

I don’t know if I can pull myself out of the hole I’ve dug.

I need to get out of this pit because no one is coming to rescue me.

And you don’t even know how much I ache for you.

I’m surely damned.


Talking to myself

I prefer talking to myself rather than talking about other people.

It's nice to see others doing well, but the rest of someone's life is none of my business.

Gossip is the home of people who do too little and criticise too much.

That little green-eyed monster

filled with venomous envy

 leave it in its own poison.

It's best to avoid talking about others.

I converse with myself, pen and paper or fingers and keyboard

a tête-à-tête with lense and aperture or paint and brush.

An opinion expressed to the full is the most fulfilling 

element to life, 

completing thoughts that steadily tick over in the mind

these are the things that interest me.


Deceptively Delicate

Poetry is deceptively delicate

it's a whisper which gradually becomes a scream

a dream turning into a nightmare

which stays with you all-day

a compliment transformed into an insult

subtle niceties and manners on the

surface while being sarcastic and real below.

 

It is the truth, leaking out

of the heart despite itself.

The beat of a constant drum

below the flourishes of what we

create for ourselves.

Subversive, not submissive

honest razor-sharp observation

its words are strength,

they can be deadly.

Thank the muse for bringing the light

of poetry, into a tenebrous world.


I see

I see right through you

and into your wild madness

like a transparent teardrop

a bubble that bursts and dissipates

trickling down my leg

and into the ground

drying up in the sun

an anticlimax, all but forgotten.


Nightmare

I dreamt of two thick red devils

with grotesque heads

who were at the edge of hell

one was eating a baby

the others throbbing penis

dragging on the ground

they were babbling to one another

I knew I was in hell

I was so sad

I did not know what to do

I was being tortured for my sins.


Still here

Love is still here for you

as I light a candle

in front

of your photo

 

I remember how your grandson and I

smothered you with hugs and kisses

the last time we said goodbye

 

Our love for you remains

here suspended in the air

you are intertwined in these

three words.


Tangled

Sometimes I get tangled up with everyday life.

 

One fine, straight cotton thread becomes entwined

around my family, work, children and economic situation.

 

Once it was easy to thread a needle and get to work as I please

now the loop is twisted and turned upon itself around others

and then back to me.

 

The more I try to pull away from it the tighter it becomes.

 

Like those poor sea lions and marine animals caught up in plastic

fishing lines cutting into their own skin

around mouths, restricting movement until they starve to death

 

Could I cut myself out?

What would be left of me?

The thread is cutting off chunks of flesh

surely there won't be much of myself left

the tangle is too tight to be unthread.


Nobility

 

Vagrant dressed in dark rags

he walks with his dead limbs against his side,

his face shrouded by unexpressed suffering.

What woes has he seen?

To make him become this sketch of a man.

He takes off his crown and kisses the ground

no one sees him but me

no one to call him mad,

his boots heavy, shuffle upon his holy land

he walks towards the infinite sea his dark face glaring blankly

acting out a pagan salute to the gods of the earth

his rite of passage before departure.